Part of living your Best Lyfe is having a healthy and fulfilling relationship with your spouse. While this usually is easier said than done, it doesn’t have to be difficult. There are small things you can do in your daily life to keep your relationship alive and growing.
I get asked the question often about how I stay in love after so long. How do you keep it alive they ask? Well there are many big things that we can do each day but it’s the little things that add up over time. These are the things that make the difference at the end of the day.
Someone can do something big once and be pretty crappy the rest of the time. It’s what we do in our daily lives that impact the relationship more than the big things. Here are a few things we make sure we do daily in our relationship.
- Always kiss when coming & going
Since day 1, there hasn’t been a time that one of us left or came home that we did not give each other a kiss. This is extremely important as it shows respect and eagerness to be with the other person. In fact, if this is not the first thing done when one of us comes home, it almost feels like an insult even if unintentional.
There have also been times that we may have been not on the best of terms and the fact of coming home and giving a kiss has stopped our argument and we just laugh.
- Send flirty messages
Been married for 10 years? So? The flirtation should never stop. Think back to when you were dating and how feminine and flirty you were? Are you still that way today? Probably not. Life got comfortable. We start to take things for granted. But why? If we don’t flirt with each other, then who? It’s important to keep the femininity alive. This is what our husband fell in love with so many years ago. So bring it back out! Be flirtatious.
- Talk about your vision for your future together
Do you know where you want to be as a couple in 10 years? Do you have dreams together? Talk about it. It’s great not only to have a vision but to put it out into the Universe for it to happen. One of the things we talk about daily is our desire to live on an island somewhere. We watch shows together and talk about the ways we will make it happen. It brings us closer during the process and the pay off when we get there will be even better.
- Say thank you often
This is a little thing that goes by often unnoticed. Men love to be thanked. (and the reality is so do we.) Does your husband take out the trash every Tuesday night? When is the last time you sincerely thanked him for doing that so it’s one less thing around the house you have to remember). Does he help run the kids to soccer practice? Just stop and say thank you. Acknowledge what he does and it will go a long way.
- Put the relationship first
What?!?!?! But what about my kids? You heard me right. I have 3 kids but the relationship always comes first! When the kids are all grown up, who will you be left with? Just the two of you. Plus our children learn more by what you do than by what you say. If they grow up watching a healthy relationship unfold where the two partners put themselves as priority, what will that teach them? What will they mimic when they get into their relationships?
Often times parents put the kids first and this leads to unhealthy relationships with the spouse. This is where lack of intimacy starts. Where relationship needs are not met. Make time for the two of you. Go on vacation together, plan date nights or just make sure you have time to discuss your day after work.
Remember at the end of the day, it’s not about the big things in the relationship but the little things that add up over time. Make your relationship a priority even when it’s hard. It’s easy to get stuck in an every day routine. It’s harder to get unstuck but it’s well worth it in the end.
Think about some of the things you do every day in your relationship that could be having an impact. I would love to hear all about it. Comment below. Need help in your relationship? Reach out for a Complimentary Breakthrough Session today!